This is Just The Way it is Now
If I am to move,
I am to believe
I am a dancer
light and dangling from my head strings,
lifted by thought, desire, determination:
genesis of movement
and so I begin to begin again.
The master of compensation,
there is always reeducation.
Forward, around, back,
and forward.
Forward, forward, forward
any way I can.
Thrown to the ground so many times now,
I may, on occasion,
wish to lie there
and let it all pass over me
and I’ll be damned,
pitied and wiped up like a spill
Artificial breath is not the life I seek.
Purchased hands are not the touch I need.
The truth is my life
is only up to me.
If I am to move,
I must find my own strings.
Never give away control
to a universe not asking.
Count my losses.
Underscore and total.
I’ve been battled, marred and maimed,
but that is done now, written off.
Here I am, a trim and bold remainder.
And this is just the way it is now.
This is where I’ve come to,
and from where I will go
forward, forward, forward.
-kara