Kara Lynn .NET Blog

Who said you could have this?
Who said it was available?
Who said you could
lay your hands on this?
and mess it all up?
Who gave all that power to you?

When I stumbled
did you feel tall?
When I withered
did you feel strong?
When I was chained
did you feel free?
Did you, all those times,
only feel yourself?

I know now who the weak one is.
You saw my strength
and you tried to take it.
But it’s mine.
I earned it
and I will take it back.

-kara

I have been pacing in this cage,
going mad for escape.
But the key is here
I hold it in my teeth

I walked into this cage.
I laid down
and let it close around me
until powerless.

I paced and paced.
Nothing I said, did, showed you
made any difference…
but you, I cannot blame.
I walked into this cage.

I tried to paint it pretty.
No one wants to see the truth.
For every failing,
I searched to redeem your worth.
I scraped at every surface,
but found no soul,
no signs of life.

You are hollow…
the cold and empty
cage that I walked into.
You are non-responsive
and you will rust around me.

You are nothing now,
but repressive hate.
You hold your silence
over my face.
And you will hold it there
as long as it takes.
You will hold your breath
until I suffocate.

Yes, I walked in,
and now I’m walking out.

-kara

Why didn’t I make it clear?
Why did it seem to all
that my gate was open wide?
Why did I unveil all that seeded in my heart?
Why did I invite the treacherous,
who would tread upon the life I meant to grow?
Why didn’t I keep my head aimed low,
tending flowers?

Why did time after time,
I give thoughtfulness
to those who would not possess it?
Why did I expect full truth and full compassion
To start growing in souls carved of stone?
Why did I winter over in pain,
dying among crushed and ruined flowers?
Why did I rise to rebuild myself in spring,
when over and over, they would come again,
without regard, without respect,
to block the sun I long awaited,
to steal the rain I patiently collected,
to stomp the surface as life emerged,
to silently destroy the design intended here?

-kara