Archive for July, 2007

This is Just The Way it is Now

Wednesday, July 11th, 2007

If I am to move,
I am to believe
I am a dancer
light and dangling from my head strings,
lifted by thought, desire, determination:
genesis of movement
and so I begin to begin again.

The master of compensation,
there is always reeducation.
Forward, around, back,
and forward.
Forward, forward, forward
any way I can.

Thrown to the ground so many times now,
I may, on occasion,
wish to lie there
and let it all pass over me
and I’ll be damned,
pitied and wiped up like a spill

Artificial breath is not the life I seek.
Purchased hands are not the touch I need.
The truth is my life
is only up to me.
If I am to move,
I must find my own strings.
Never give away control
to a universe not asking.

Count my losses.
Underscore and total.
I’ve been battled, marred and maimed,
but that is done now, written off.
Here I am, a trim and bold remainder.
And this is just the way it is now.
This is where I’ve come to,
and from where I will go
forward, forward, forward.

-kara

Tetanus and ALS???

Thursday, July 5th, 2007

Last July while doing online research on ALS, I stumbled upon some other page describing Tetanus. I was interested at how Tetanus, like ALS, also affects the motor neurons. So I started searching for info on Tetanus. Apparently, the spores can hang out in normal tissue for months or even years! What I started thinking was this: Is ALS caused by similar bacterium, or even a mutant form of Tetanus? Or maybe even a non-mutant form of Tetanus can cause ALS in certain hosts where immune response or genetic factors alter the typical outcome of the disease.

In 2003 I woke one morning with sudden and very severe jaw pain that lasted over six months. When I say severe, I mean SEVERE. I now believe my jaw was in spasm due to ALS (which I had since at least 1999, but was not diagnosed at the time of the jaw spasm). My facial muscles were among the first to be affected. So when I read that Tetanus can cause lockjaw, I started digging deeper. I firmly believe that ALS is caused by either bacteria or virus, and I’m leaning more towards bacteria. I believe there are probably helper factors that enable the culprit (bacterial or viral) to exist and carry on in such a way to present as ALS in the host.

Becoming more and more interest in the Tetanus-ALS similarities or connection possibility, I searched for the two terms together and found I was not alone in my thinking. Check out this brief article on ALS Therapy Development Institute website:
http://www.als.net/articles/articleDetail.asp?articleId=3709

Also here on PubMed:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?cmd=
Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=15823706&dopt=Abstract

eMedicine description of Tetanus:
http://www.emedicine.com/emerg/topic574.htm

I got thinking about Tetanus again when the ER doc tried to convince me to let her give me a Tetanus shot Tuesday night. I had fallen backwards in my driveway (while standing still no less!) after losing my balance. I landed on the back of my left hand and then smacked the back of my head on the asphalt. I ended up with a sore head, a badly sprained hand and thumb, two deep gouges on the back of my hand, and something pulled in my neck. Two days later, I feel like I’ve been in a car wreck. It didn’t help that I fell again last night going up the stairs in our house… and jammed my thumb again! I exercised my right to say every curse word I could think of, which brought on some needed laughter. Oh, by the way, I held off on the Tetanus shot for now. I want to look it up and see if it is actually live bacteria that they inject to stimulate an immune response. I’m not sure I would be comfortable with that.

-kara

UPDATE: July 9, 2007
Okay, the Tetanus Toxoid shot is an inactivated toxin, not a live vaccine. I still am not comfortable getting it, as rare side effects can be muscle wasting. Typically it is safe, but I mean, what the hell does anyone really know about ALS? Something is awry with a PALS’s neurological system. We are not typical. I sure don’t need any further neuro problems or more muscle wasting. However, after putting band-aids on the wounds Saturday in order to wrap my hand with an ace bandage to protect it, the wounds became grossly infected. I have never had a wound become infected. We have been applying Neosporin.